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What do the unis do with UCAS applications?

They print them them out and make them into a giant nest using their own bodily fluids as an adhesive... but that’s just during the Christmas party hijinks.

After they’ve sobered up, they’ll glance over the applications and write to you with one of the four possible responses:

An unconditional offer: This means they’ll take you no matter what. They were that impressed. Actually, they usually only do this with applicants who’ve already got the grades. Some universities give a conditional offer of ‘EE’ if you get them really wet, which is as good as unconditional – unless things go really cack-shaped with your A Levels.
A conditional offer: This means they’ll take you if you meet their conditions. The conditions are usually getting certain grades at A Level or Highers, but occasionally they might offer a place in another year or on another course.
A rejection: They don’t want you. They don’t give reasons. Maybe the envelope wasn’t stuffed with enough cash. Maybe they didn’t appreciate the naked Polaroids. You’ll never know.
An interview: They want to see the cut of your jib, test your mettle and sniff your nether parts before they finally decide. This is less common than it once was and it tends to be the older universities that still go in for interviews. But it’s a great opportunity to check out the place, take in its vibes and see what the people are like.

Last updated on: 24 April 2008

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